Post All Hallows Eve
>> Sunday, November 1, 2009
Happy Halloween (belated...yeah I know)!
Remember how I said I was going to post pictures of my Mother Nature costume last post? Yeah, I left my camera at home, so no pictures! Here's the official costume picture though:
I did not wear heels, but metallic gold gladiator sandals instead! They were much more comfortable! I also wore metallic gold eyeshadow with a mossy green shadow in the outer corners of my eyes. It was pretty! I was so ticked I left my camera at home! By the time I got home, I was so tired that I hopped in the shower and went straight to bed after that.
I also believe that I mentioned my dislike for flaky people. Well, I had a talk with the one I had initially spoke about. I don't know how I feel about the conversation. I got some things out what I wanted, but this person mostly got what they wanted out. I think one of the major issues we had was the deal to swap some items. This person said their half of the deal was going to be done by the time school started, and it wasn't. Here is the thing with me: if someone tells me that they will have such-and-such done by such-and-such time, I expect it to be done. When it isn't done, I get the impression that the person is very lazy or very flaky. I am a very time oriented person. I believe that tasks should be done within a timely manner. When I told that person I felt that way they replied with, "The more and more people push me to do something, the less inclined I am to do it."
Really? So they decide to act like a child? That seriously reminds me of one of my kids at the center:
"I don't want to do it!"
"Why?"
"Because you're telling me to!"
This person is also getting married in July. I had told their significant other that I can't be in the wedding party if things don't change soon. I was barely hearing from the person I was having issues with. They never answered my texts or phone calls, so I was beginning to think they were avoiding/ignoring me.
I understand that it's an honor to be invited to be a part of someone's big day, trust me. I used to work David's Bridal. However, I don't feel comfortable spending so much money (especially the money I don't have) on the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, nails, bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and a wedding gift. The last wedding I participated in, I spent a ton of money on the above mentioned and afterwards the bride stopped talking to me. I am starting to see this happen BEFORE the wedding in this situation. I told them that I would be more than happy to help with the wedding, and of course be a witness of their vows. I don't know if that will happen either.
Another reason this person got ticked with me is because I messaged their significant other about the issue, and not them. The reason I messaged the S.O. is because I could NEVER get a hold of them, and I didn't want them to explode on me! So, the S.O. doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because he/she doesn't want to deal with my "petty crap." Nice. I think this is one of those situations where I need to just walk away. We got things on the table, cleared the air, and I need to move on. As I quote my dear friend Amanda: "Why would you want to bother with someone like that?" I'm not sure, to be honest. I tend to fall headfirst into a friendship. I think I may be a little too trusting at times and I believe that everyone has good in them, and that they wouldn't do anything mean or untrustworthy towards me. I'm slowly learning that this is not true.
ANYWHO...
Lauren is also coming home for Christmas! I'm going to be spending time with friends during the holidays, I can already tell! ;]
I think this has been a long enough post. I'm going to have a lovely Starbucks with Ms. Ryan now. There is always so much to discuss!
Later Days!
Dani
Remember how I said I was going to post pictures of my Mother Nature costume last post? Yeah, I left my camera at home, so no pictures! Here's the official costume picture though:
I did not wear heels, but metallic gold gladiator sandals instead! They were much more comfortable! I also wore metallic gold eyeshadow with a mossy green shadow in the outer corners of my eyes. It was pretty! I was so ticked I left my camera at home! By the time I got home, I was so tired that I hopped in the shower and went straight to bed after that.
I also believe that I mentioned my dislike for flaky people. Well, I had a talk with the one I had initially spoke about. I don't know how I feel about the conversation. I got some things out what I wanted, but this person mostly got what they wanted out. I think one of the major issues we had was the deal to swap some items. This person said their half of the deal was going to be done by the time school started, and it wasn't. Here is the thing with me: if someone tells me that they will have such-and-such done by such-and-such time, I expect it to be done. When it isn't done, I get the impression that the person is very lazy or very flaky. I am a very time oriented person. I believe that tasks should be done within a timely manner. When I told that person I felt that way they replied with, "The more and more people push me to do something, the less inclined I am to do it."
Really? So they decide to act like a child? That seriously reminds me of one of my kids at the center:
"I don't want to do it!"
"Why?"
"Because you're telling me to!"
This person is also getting married in July. I had told their significant other that I can't be in the wedding party if things don't change soon. I was barely hearing from the person I was having issues with. They never answered my texts or phone calls, so I was beginning to think they were avoiding/ignoring me.
I understand that it's an honor to be invited to be a part of someone's big day, trust me. I used to work David's Bridal. However, I don't feel comfortable spending so much money (especially the money I don't have) on the dress, shoes, hair, makeup, nails, bachelor/bachelorette parties, bridal showers, and a wedding gift. The last wedding I participated in, I spent a ton of money on the above mentioned and afterwards the bride stopped talking to me. I am starting to see this happen BEFORE the wedding in this situation. I told them that I would be more than happy to help with the wedding, and of course be a witness of their vows. I don't know if that will happen either.
Another reason this person got ticked with me is because I messaged their significant other about the issue, and not them. The reason I messaged the S.O. is because I could NEVER get a hold of them, and I didn't want them to explode on me! So, the S.O. doesn't want to talk to me anymore, because he/she doesn't want to deal with my "petty crap." Nice. I think this is one of those situations where I need to just walk away. We got things on the table, cleared the air, and I need to move on. As I quote my dear friend Amanda: "Why would you want to bother with someone like that?" I'm not sure, to be honest. I tend to fall headfirst into a friendship. I think I may be a little too trusting at times and I believe that everyone has good in them, and that they wouldn't do anything mean or untrustworthy towards me. I'm slowly learning that this is not true.
ANYWHO...
Lauren is also coming home for Christmas! I'm going to be spending time with friends during the holidays, I can already tell! ;]
I think this has been a long enough post. I'm going to have a lovely Starbucks with Ms. Ryan now. There is always so much to discuss!
Later Days!
Dani
2 comments:
You did the right thing confronting your "friend." While I was planning our wedding I was a member of a planning website so I got to hear about a LOT of dramas like this, (albeit the bride's side of things) and I honestly think that some people just get super selfish when planning a wedding.
As far as the agreement to swap goes, it sounds like when someone reminds her of a responsibility she hasn't completed yet it forces her to confront the fact that she has to follow through...which makes her feel defensive because she KNOWS that she's being irresponsible...but no one likes being confronted with their flaws. So she avoids you at all costs to avoid being faced with having to take responsibility. Pretty immature. School started 2 months ago...if she's not being lazy and avoiding responsibility I'd like to know what she'd call that.
RUDE.
Anyways...I relate a lot to what you're saying. If I'm friends with something, it's all or nothing. I dive headfirst and go out of my way to be there for them in any way possible. There's no inbetween...either we are friends, or we're not and if we are then I'll treat you as well as the friends I've known for years. A friend is a friend, kwim? I also like to give absolutely everyone the benefit of the doubt unless I've spoken to them directly about a problem even though I've learned (like you have) that most people don't often deserve it. I hope you continue to see the glass half-full and give people the benefit of the doubt, whether they deserve it or not, because it's an awesome quality to have. You're a damn good friend to those good enough to know you.....but you also have to know when they're not good enough and it's time to walk away. You shouldn't have to do all the work all the time, kwim?
I'm glad you see it from my point of view! She had told me that at this time she "wasn't willing to have me in her wedding" and that "it might be a possibility later on".
I think the way things are going now, that I would honestly rather not.
Also, she had pointed out that we "are at very different points in our lives." I think it was a nice way of saying, "I'm about to get married, and you still live at home with your parents." Yeah, I may live with my parents and I may not be getting married anytime soon, but I can say that I'm being responsible. I know I'm too broke to move out on my own, I'm doing well in school, and Joe and I want to be more financially stable before we get married. To each their own!
I love you, Mel! And I consider you a true friend! <3
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